Remember when I told you that there was good in goodbye and I was going to share it with you in 2017….AND I NEVER DID!
[Random:: Good in Goodbye was not the title of the book…]
Let’s continue
Well, let me not end this year without telling you ALL about it.
Maybe not ALL, but I do want to tell you how saying goodbye can be the best thing to ever happen to you.
Let’s back track.
I wrote a book.
A beautiful, amazing book all about this story of goodbye. I wrote, rewrote, changed chapters, got scared, talked myself out of it, and ultimately said never mind. That never mind has now turned into a “one day, just not today, or this year!!”. Writing is legit therapy for me and I realized that me writing that book in a short few days was the therapy I needed to push forward and open myself up to all that God was doing. Don’t sweat it though, I’m not worried about it so don’t you be! I’ve been writing literally since I was a preteen and I do not plan on stopping. Due season is coming and the story shared will be amazing!
Let’s say GOODBYE!
I know that I am not the only that has experienced an unexpected break-up, romantic or even within friendships. They hurt like hell but the hurt is only temporary if we allow it to be. Everyone comes into your life for a reason and some are only for a season. Yes that is cliché but it’s also very true and we have to learn to honor those moments and seasons we had with temporary people by…MOVING ON! Don’t dwell there, take what God desires for you to learn from it and keep it moving.
Here are a few tips to help you reach the GOOD in your goodbye::
One) Acknowledgement
Acknowledge your feelings, feel those feelings, and also acknowledge the part you played. Sometimes we hold onto things that God never intended to be put together and other times we know the season is over and we refuse to let go. When you reach the point of full acknowledgement you are truly ready to heal and move on. Don’t delay your blessings by living in denial. At this point, “it is what it is”, so do yourself a favor: accept it and move forward.
Two) Take a break and stop trying to replace
Many of us make the mistake of going from relationship to relationship and with every relationship jump the same behavior is repeated! This is with friendships too, trust me. Instead of trying to replace, give yourself the time to grow through the goodbye. Learn yourself, spend time with yourself, and love yourself. The moment you learn to take care of you is the moment you are able to take care of all of your relationships. But most importantly if goodbye happens to knock on your door again, you are less likely to be hurt by it. Not because you’ve become numb to it but because you realize that goodbye is apart of life. Whatever God has for you will come with peace and whatever He doesn’t will leave with peace.
Three) STOP LURKING ON THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA
Do I really need to say more? It’s over, so what exactly are you looking for? Lurking hurts you more than it hurts them. Who cares what they are doing anyway?!? Let me remind you that hurt people, hurt people. So if you just so happened to be the one who got hurt, the person that hurt you is still hurting too. Ye not be fooled by their “glow up”. Sometimes the glow up is a coverup for what they refuse to face. Either way it has absolutely nothing to do with you! So refer to tip number two: love on yourself and let things be what they are going to be.
Four) Remain Open
God never removes without replacing and sometimes instead of replacing God gives restoration. In HIS timing of course. God can restore with a whole new relationship or who knows He may bring back a relationship that needs healing, which will require your best effort and for you to be the best you. Do not miss out on what God has for you by refusing to grow and continuing to dwell. Be the best you that you can possibly be and watch how God will honor that effort. Now remember don’t get in God’s way or your own by attempting to do the replacing yourself. Slow it down and go back to tip number two! Let God be God, you just be obedient. It may get lonely but it is so worth it!
Trust me, I understand that things did not work out how YOU wanted them to but they worked out exactly how GOD needed them to. Get wisdom but most importantly seek understanding. Not understanding through the actions of others but drowning out what you hear and see and making the decision to only listen to God’s voice. What’s coming is better than what was. I pray that not only do you find the good in goodbye but that God restores you beyond belief just for walking in the obedience of letting go and moving on.
Best wishes to you and just know that as I post this it’s still 2017. There’s 8 days left for God to show you that the works of His hands are STILL mighty.
With love,
Courtney Arlesia