Courtney Arlesia

I Just Want to be HAPPY…

Why are so many millennials NOT happy? 

[I say millennials because I am one, so I want to have a peer to peer conversation. HOWEVER, please know that this can apply to ALL people.]

Let’s continue…

I know that happiness is an emotion that you may not feel all the time but I often wonder what people are searching for when they are longing to be happy. I love when Kirk Franklin says in his song, “Smile”: “See, I don’t want you to just be happy because then you have to have something happening. I want you to have joy because can’t no one take that from you!”.

Maybe, just maybe, we are seeking the wrong thing. Maybe, just maybe, we should be seeking something that is long term (joy) versus something that only comes in moments (happiness). When we choose joy, we choose to find our smile despite our circumstance and we choose God daily. I often wonder how I would feel if I were God dealing with this generation. We are never satisfied! We want all of God’s blessings to fall in our lap but we don’t want to sacrifice.  And let’s not forget when God gives us what we want, we throw a fit because it didn’t come packaged how we wanted it to. Shooooot, if I was God, I would have chunked my deuces up to many of us a loooong time ago.

Understand this, God is not a genie!

Tony Evans said in one of his sermons: “God has some gold digging kids; they don’t want relationship, they just want his stuff”. That’s a tough pill to swallow but it’s the truth. Why don’t we desire relationship with Christ? Is it because a relationship requires hard work and we know this generation doesn’t like hard work? That’s how we do friends, dating, family, or work relationships. If something is not going our way we bounce✌. We lack the ability to communicate, we lack team building skills, and we lack the ability to take ownership of the role we played (we love the blame game!). 

As long as you keep running, you will never know happy or ever experience joy. 

 How do we get to the place of happy and living in joy?

-We have to learn how to offer more solutions versus quitting every time it gets hard. We pray for stability but uproot every chance we get. [Try this out: get a piece of paper and make two columns. Label one column “my happy” and the column “get there”. In the “my happy” column list everything thing that makes you happy or will make you and in the “get there” column right what needs to be done to get you there]

-We have to learn to stop being selfish. I don’t know if you know but it’s not just you here walking this planet. I don’t know who spoiled you but those spoiled ways are not going to keep working out in your favor. [Try this out: do something thoughtful for someone you know or a stranger. Or simply say thank you, every chance you get. Give some love, share some happy!]

-We have develop a relationship with God. Some of us will never truly be happy and never experience joy if we are constantly disconnecting ourselves from who we should be connected to, God. [Try this out: Everyday turn yourself off for 30mins to an hour and dedicate time to growing deeper with God. Listen to worship music, pray, or write Him letters. Pursue God like you pursue a dating relationship.]

-We have to learn to take ownership and be accountable for what we did. [Try this out: If there is someone you know you should apologize to, then offer a true apology, taking full ownership for the part you played and only the part you played. NO “you did this, so I responded like this”. Make sure it’s genuine.]


Whoo, I had to yell. Glad I got that off my chest. 

Life is what YOU make it. I pray that you go deeper in God and that you choose a relationship with Him. A relationship with God is not about what He can give you [stop being selfish]. A relationship with God is about learning Him and growing you. When you learn Him you are able to tap into what He desires for you. A relationship with God will have some hard days, God did not come to play with us. He wants the very best for us and because of that we’ll have to face some harsh truths but it is nothing we cannot overcome and even better God will not make us walk alone. I pray you learn to relinquish control. God knows what He is doing, if we knew everything then He we need us and we wouldn’t need Him. Learn to let things go and I pray you learn this harsh truth:: just because it makes you feel good from time to time doesn’t mean you need it in your life. What I’m saying is know your worth, stop allowing people and situations to abuse you because they offer burst of feel good moments. We can love something and leave it right where it is. I want us to glow up but first we got to grow up. I pray you take the time out to seek God and seek areas to grow. I pray that one day soon you learn the true meaning of happiness and that you step into joy. 

With love,

Courtney Arlesia

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